In 2019, Grammy- and Oscar-winning British singer-songwriter Sam Smith made a public declaration that would redefine their life and public persona: they were officially stepping back from the traditional gender binary and adopting the pronouns they/them.
After years of quiet struggle, the artist behind global megahits like “Stay with Me” framed the move not as a radical political statement, but as a deeply personal milestone in a long journey toward self-acceptance.
“Today is a good day so here goes,” Smith wrote in a widely shared social media post at the time. “I’ve decided I am changing my pronouns to THEY/THEM. After a lifetime of being at war with my gender I’ve decided to embrace myself for who I am, inside and out… I understand there will be many mistakes and misgendering, but all I ask is you please please try. I hope you can see me like I see myself now.”
Yet years after that public coming-out, the 33-year-old pop star remains locked in a strange, persistent media paradox. Despite being one of the most recognizable musical figures on the planet, Smith is routinely misgendered on live broadcasts, reduced in casual conversation to “he,” “him,” and “that fella.”
A Pattern of On-Air Blunders
The slip-ups haven’t just occurred in internet comment sections; they have played out repeatedly on high-profile, highly polished media stages.
At the Grammy Awards red carpet, a reporter for the Associated Press incorrectly used male pronouns throughout a televised segment analyzing Smith’s bold sartorial evolution:
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“Sam Smith has had a lot of controversy around his outfits this past year,” the reporter told viewers. “I love that he’s continuing to push the mold, love that he’s continuing to break out from the Sam Smith that we knew at the ballads… He’s definitely diving fully in into pop music, and we can see that not only in his music but also in his looks as well.”
💓 @tomotakakoizumi pic.twitter.com/wh0k0fuy3D
— SAM SMITH (@samsmith) February 2, 2023
The television missteps only compounded from there. During a live appearance on ITV’s popular morning show This Morning, legendary musician Bob Geldof repeatedly referred to Smith using male pronouns while discussing music projects.
Viewers watched in frustration as show hosts Holly Willoughby and Philip Schofield allowed the references to slide without offering a gentle real-time correction.
Social media erupted immediately. “Holly and Phil should have pulled him up on that. Ridiculous,” one viewer wrote online. Another chimed in: “He’s on national TV and speaking about Sam Smith. You’d think someone would brief him on Sam’s gender identity or at least correct him. Painful watch.”
“That Fella” and the Barbie Red Carpet
More recently, veteran UK talk show host Lorraine Kelly found herself at the center of a public backlash following a segment on her daytime show, Lorraine.
While discussing Smith’s dramatic, oversized outfit at the premiere of the Barbie movie alongside guest Vogue Williams, Kelly repeatedly used “he” and “him” to describe the artist:
“It’s a bit big for him,” Kelly remarked on air, scrutinizing Smith’s chosen outfit. “If he was my son, I’d be saying, ‘Son, that’s too big for you’… He’s going to stand out. He knows what he’s doing, does that fella.”
In a stark contrast, Williams subtly navigated the conversation using Smith’s correct pronouns, noting that the singer would “certainly stand out on the red carpet.”
The slip did not go unnoticed by viewers, who quickly took to social media to call out the broadcast veteran for ignoring Smith’s identity:
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“Not Lorraine misgendering Sam Smith over and over!!” tweeted one fan.
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“I guess Lorraine didn’t get the memo about Sam Smith and their chosen pronouns, awkward,” added another.
Cultural Friction and Online Divide
The repeated incidents surrounding Smith underscore a much broader cultural friction over gender identity, non-binary pronouns, and public discourse. While fans and advocacy groups argue that media professionals have a duty to respect an individual’s declared identity, critics and skeptics online often dismiss the issue entirely.
Commentary on social media feeds frequently splits down ideological lines. Some observers defended Kelly’s slip-up by arguing she simply “fell into the trap of thinking he’s a bloke because he is.” Others voiced cynicism regarding non-binary identity in the entertainment industry, with one commenter writing: “Give all those ‘Best Male’ awards you won and profited from back and we will talk, Sam.”
Others weaponized satire, with one commenter posting: “What a bigot, she knows they are not a he… I forgot what we were talking about.”
“A Coming Home”: Smith’s Take on the Noise
Despite the ongoing public debate and frequent broadcast errors, Smith’s personal stance remains remarkably measured. Speaking with Apple Music’s Zane Lowe, the singer opened up about what shifting their pronouns actually felt like on a personal level, describing it as a vital act of self-preservation.
“Since changing my pronouns, it felt like a coming home,” Smith shared. “I wish I knew what the words were when I was in school, because I would’ve identified as that in school. Because it is who I am and it’s who I’ve always been.”
Rather than expressing outrage over everyday linguistic slips, Smith acknowledged just how challenging it can be for society to rewrite muscle memory and speech patterns overnight.
“What’s hard is people changing their vocabulary; that’s very, very difficult. It takes time. Everyone messes up. I’m going to be misgendered to the day I die,” Smith noted candidly.
For the artist, the emotional trade-off remains entirely worth it: “This is all about feeling safe, and it makes me feel happy and it makes me feel comfortable. And if I get to live a life where I’m a little bit more comfortable and happy, then I think it’s worth it.”